


Clint Barton's Most Awesome Christmas Ever

by anarchycox



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, Sick Clint, loving phil, super fluff, the bus is family, vague timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8790232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Feelstide Prompt: Clint is very much looking forward to holidays, it's one of his first happy holidays ever. Unfortunately, he gets sick (nothing serious, just flu or something) so the team and particularly Phil try very hard to still make it merry Christmas.





	

Clint Barton’s List to Make the Most Awesome Christmas Ever

  1. Stowaway on the Bus
  2. Not get kicked off the Bus
  3. Decorate the Bus
  4. Make sure May doesn’t undecorate the Bus
  5. String mistletoe everywhere to maximize kissing Phil time
  6. Cook a christmas eve dinner
  7. Watch all the christmas movies ever
  8. Everyone wakes up christmas morning and opens gifts
  9. Make merry and joy heart grows three sizes more kissing Phil



 

“Do you see this list Simmons?”

“Yes Clint, I see your list.” she sighed. “We’ve all seen the list.”

“And where are we on the list?”

“You’ve accomplished through number 4. And May has promised to leave your decorations alone.” Simmons jammed a thermometer in his mouth. “And actually I’m a little curious how you managed to get all those decorations on the plane - but wait until it beeps to answer.” 

The second it beeped, he popped it out and handed it to her. “I’m just that awesome.” she gave him the look she gave Fitz when he asked for a monkey. “Natasha did it.”

That made more sense.

“Still, when we stowaway in the cargo section when already fighting illness, it can exacerbate the situation.” Simmons added his temperature to the notes. “You are sick.”

“I’m fine.” Clint protested. “It’s nothing! A man gets a tiny bit of phlegm stuck in his throat and suddenly everyone thinks it’s the end of the world -” His rant was cut off due to hacking up a lung. Simmons held up a small bowl for all the fluid and mucus to go in to. “Okay, a tiny cough.”

“With a fever of 102.” she handed him a packet of pills. “Orange juice, toast, and bed rest.” 

Oh he looked so sad. Jemma pat him on the shoulder. “You can have one cookie.”

“Those are the store bought ones. I was going to make gingerbread men for everyone.” Clint sounded so distraught.

Jemma had no idea what to do with a distraught superhero, she barely coped when Fitz got the blues. “I’ll get Phil.” she hurried away.

Clint was still sure she was wrong and got up. He lurched into the wall and wondered who took his knees away. He liked his knees they helped him stand up. He took a few deep breaths, but that only made him cough more.

But he had fought off a HYDRA cell with chicken pox, he sure as hell could do Christmas with a cold. He straightened up. There was a tree to finish trimming. And garland around the railings and just...other things. Happy things. Things they did in Hallmark tv movies. And he had a thumb drive filled with the best of the best of those for evening viewings for the next 2 nights until they hit the Christmas eve classics. And he was sure he’d be fine by then anyways.

The door was five feet away. It took several minutes to get there. And that was enough time for Jemma to fetch Phil.

“I’m fine.”

“Talk to me, Barton.”

“Oh don’t say it like that, you aren’t my handler anymore, haven’t been for 2 years.” Clint grumbled.

“Talk to me, Clint.” the voice softened a little. “Talk to me, baby.” oh that was completely unfair.

“Just a little under the weather. Still can do Christmas.”

“What you can do is crawl into my bed for a nap.”

Clint wiggled his brows, he could get behind that. He let Phil lead him up to his office/quarters and sighed as Phil stripped him out of his clothes. Phil’s hands felt so cool against his skin. It was nice. He didn’t even notice the pajamas that Phil put him in. “Wait how did those get on me?”

“Magic.” Phil said as he folded back the covers. “You need rest. You are worn down and sick.”

“Under the weather.”

“Nap.”

“Short one, have to finish decorating.” Clint yawned which caused another spate of coughing. “Phil, this is our first Christmas together in two years. And the two before that we were together but on missions. I just wanted this one to be magic.”

“I know.” Phil kissed Clint’s head. “And if you are just under the weather, a quick nap should help you feel all better right?”

“Right.” Clint smiled. “So smart. So purty.”

“Nap.” Phil repeated.

Phil went to his desk and did some paperwork, figuring Clint wouldn’t be down long, the excitement would get him up. Only after 90 minutes he was still snoring hard. He was definitely sick. Clint had been planning this for months. He had meant it to be a surprise, they had so little time together, more catching each other when they were both passing through on missions. But this, this mattered to Clint. So it mattered to Phil. He had let Natasha sneak the boxes into the storage area, knew that Skye was helping Clint plot and ignored it all until Clint had popped up out of the floor and yelled “Merry Christmas.”

And he wasn’t going to see that excitement die because Clint was felled by the cold from hell. He quietly left the room and called everyone to a meeting. The gathered around the conference table.

“AC don’t tell me we have a job.” Skye frowned. “Well more than the one we are on right now. The easy one, that is supposed to be done in like a day. I know we aren’t going to make Christmas back Stateside, but we are having Christmas right?”

“We are.” Phil promised. “The job tomorrow is still a simple intel co-ordination. And then will fly to a friendly base in New Zealand and hang out until the 26th. We will get to rest for Christmas.”

Skye smiled relieved. Everyone else also relaxed just a little.

“No, my concern is Clint. He is pretty sick and won’t be able to provide all the festivities he was hoping to do while we finished up work.” Phil looked sad. “He just wanted a bit of holiday cheer and family. Wanted he and I to have a few moments together. He wanted -”

“Family.” Skye piped in. It was a feeling she well understood.

“Yes.” Phil straightened his shoulders. “Now I figure the least we can do is help out a bit. Fitz, Simmons, would you finish the decorating?”

“Yes, sir.” Fitz offered.

“Be happy to.” Simmons added.

“Skye set up a screening area for movies, find good music, in between monitoring the drop location and the man we are meeting.”

“You got it.”

“May you and I are meeting the person, Tripp is riding back up. He can see about grabbing some extra groceries.”

“You mean booze, don’t you.” Tripp grinned.

“Extra supplies, left to his discretion.” Phil smiled just a little though. “Does anyone have Christmas shopping they still need to do?” Everyone but May raised their hand. “If the drop is smooth we can delay leaving two hours for people to shop.”

There were quiet cheers and everyone went about their business. When Clint woke 3 hours later, he felt worse. His head was swimming, and he could barely breathe. “Must decorate. Behind schedule. Stupid 30 minute nap.” He tried to get up and it hurt.

“Try three hours baby.” Phil said softly. He came over to the bed and kissed Clint’s forehead. “You are super sick.”

“Want Christmas.” Clint absolutely didn’t whine. “Want Christmas with youuuuuuuu.” A coughing fit followed.

“And you’ll have it.” Phil promised. He helped Clint stand up and go to the head. When he was done, Clint looked like that small trip had exhausted him. But he was glaring at the bed like it was the worst villain ever. Phil went into the closet and pulled out his big fluffy robe and wrapped Clint in it. He helped the man into the communal area and Clint gasped.

Fitz and Simmons had finished decorating and there was garland and fairy lights strung everywhere, the tree was covered in bows and ornaments and there was a tv movie playing on the screen. There was even a Christmas throw over the sofa. Phil pushed him down onto the couch.

“I’m raiding May’s tea for you.” Phil went over to the kitchen and made him a cup. Clint just kept staring at the lights.

“Did we do alright?” Simmons asked softly as she sat beside him. “Oh good lord.” she said as Clint launched himself at her in a hug. “Yes, well thank you?” he just kept squeezing. “Arms. You have very strong arms.”

“Clint don’t break one of my scientists.” Phil said coming back with a cup.

“They made it look like a greeting card.” Clint’s voice was muffled against Jemma.

“Yes, but if you keep hugging the poor girl like that she’s going to think you’re angling for a threeway.” Jemma stared at Phil in terror. “Don’t worry, we don’t do that.” Phil smiled a little more. “And if we did there are a few others who have already called dibs.”

“Is AC making sex jokes?” Skye asked from her cube. “Because that is either horrifying or kind of cool.”

Melinda walked by, “I’m on the dibs shortlist. 1 hour ETA.” She didn’t break stride. Clint began to laugh at Skye and Jemma’s face and then fell to a coughing fit.

Jemma pried herself out of Clint’s arms and ran back down to the labs. Phil kissed Clint’s head. “I need to go get ready. You stay on this couch and Skye and FitzSimmons will take care of you.”

“No coming back with ouchies.” Clint warned.

“I’ll do my best.” Phil promised and he went down to the armory.

Skye brought over her computer and sat beside Clint. “So tell me about Coulson.”

“He’s a human. Born and identifies as male.”

“I don’t mean that.” she punched his arm. “Tell me about Coulson.”

“He never forgets how you take your coffee or tea. He’ll always have your back, no matter the cost to him. He’s a great dancer. He doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies. He’s horrible at Skype sex but good at sexting. He can make you believe that everything is going to be okay.”

“Yeah, I knew that last one.” she watched the Christmas movie on the screen. “So this is what a family Christmas looks like?”

“Based on my research as close as any of us are getting these days.”

“Why didn’t you kidnap Phil to the Avengers tower, have like a full superhero Christmas?” Skye asked, curious.

Clint looked at her confused. “Couples alternate. So this Christmas we spend with his family.” he thought it was obvious.

“Oh.” Skye hugged him.

“You’ll get sick.”

“You’ve probably already infected all of us.” She didn’t care. “Are you sort of my stepdad then?”

“I’m not giving you a sex talk.” But he returned the hug.

“Nah, I’ve got that down.” They watched the movie until Skye’s laptop beeped. “I’m up. Let’s get this job done quick. Coulson promised we can do some Christmas shopping if it all goes well.”

“You just jinxed it.” Clint warned. He snuggled into the robe and drank his tea.

But in a Christmas miracle it absolutely wasn’t jinxed, the mission went fine and everyone got their shopping time in, before May set a course for New Zealand. 

Phil forced Clint back to bed no matter how much he wanted to stay in front of the tree. Clint ended up spending the next day in bed and then it was the 24th. He had no problems pulling a gun on Phil. “I’m going downstairs.” he warned.

Phil just handed him sweats. “I thought maybe a shower first. You smell.”

“Love you too.” Clint sniffed though and realized yeah he was kind of gross. He stepped into Phil’s stupid tiny shower and got clean and was relieved that he felt weak but not like he wanted to pass out. He put on sweats making sure to give it a little extra wiggle to make Phil happy. Phil laughed and gave him a swat to get moving.

They made it to the family area where Tripp was making pancakes. “Hey got to start today off right!” he said as he flipped another onto the stack. “You up for real food today Barton?”

“Hell yeah.” Clint said before coughing a bit, but at least he didn’t bend in half as he did it.

“Tea. And orange juice.” Phil fussed as he pushed Clint to sit. Clint managed two pancakes before a whirring noise had him reaching for the knife at his back.

“It’s just Happy.” Phil said looking up to where one of Fitz’s drones was flying with some mistletoe.

“Lots of mistletoe so you could kiss was on your list.” Fitz said walking in with the control. “Have all the guys flying around the place with some.”

Simmons sighed. “Bashful won’t leave my side.” she looked up. “Go on, shoo.”

“Hey I’ll take advantage.” Tripp came over and kissed Jemma’s cheek. Fitz tapped his pad and made Bashful fly away. They all turned their heads at the moan and saw Coulson kissing the hell out of Clint. 

“That’s disturbing.” Fitz was the one to break the silence.

Coulson let Clint go. “What’s our agenda for the day?”

“Movies, music, cookie making.” Clint said.

“I feel like you should be kept away from the cooking and baking process.” Simmons suggested. “You are still rather…”

“We don’t want snot in the cookies.” May said bluntly from the corner where she had been eating pancakes. “I’ll make chocolate crinkles for you though.”

Clint grinned a little. “I knew you liked me.”

She just gave him the May stare and drank her tea. Soon everyone was offering to make the one thing they all new how to make and were planning kitchen shifts. 

“Do you have all the food for that?” Clint asked Phil.

“Natasha made sure we had plenty of supplies and made sure to get a little extra yesterday.” Phil said. “Now to the couch with you. Watch your Christmas movies.”

Clint protested at being the only one to do nothing but everyone fussed at him until he was on the couch watching every Christmas episode any cartoon ever had. He was laughing at Spongebob as Melinda came over with a plate of cookies and more tea. “Push fluids.”

Clint made kissy face at her and was pleased when he lived. Melinda must be feeling the holiday spirit. He ate a cookie and moaned, “So good.”

She smiled a little and settled into a chair with a book. 

Phil was gone, finishing up some paperwork, but everyone else kept him company and the place smelled of chocolate and cinnamon and peppermint and Clint was in heaven. Phil came out of his office late in the afternoon and nodded. “No one does a drop of work for the next 24 hours.” he said. “We are free and clear.”

There was a whoop from Skye and Tripp whistled. Jemma pulled the Christmas bread from the oven, pleased that it was barely charred.

“Now I know you were going to cook a roast or something tonight Clint, but you are staying put and will just have to deal with me making you spaghetti.”

Clint smiled happily. Phil had made spaghetti the first time Clint had spent the night. Phil rolled up his sleeves and went to the kitchen and put on the kiss the cook apron Clint had given him years ago. He hummed Christmas songs as he set a sauce to simmer. Melinda came quietly in and helped him make the meatballs.

“This is good Phil.”

He looked at her. “Yeah, it is. I think we all needed this.”

“You two should have more time together.”

“We have enough.” Phil shrugged and stirred the sauce, adding a little more wine.

“No you don’t.”

“No, we don’t.” he sighed. “But we make do.”

Melinda nodded, she well understood making do.

Phil put the meatballs in the oven to cook a bit. “Clint should have more liquids.” He washed his hands and made some more tea. He brought it out to Clint who groaned but at least there was no cough that followed. He was definitely on the mend. 

Happy flew over Clint’s head and Phil gladly gave another kiss. He laughed when the little drone moved to hover over everyone’s head. “I’m not doing that.” Fitz looked at the drone above his head in horror and died when Coulson gave him a kiss. 

Phil gave everyone a kiss as Happy moved over them and went back to the kitchen where Melinda was stirring the sauce. “Needed more basil.” 

He nodded and added the meatballs. They went out to join the crowd for a cartoon or two and then Phil finished up cooking making a bowl for everyone.

Clint put on White Christmas and everyone ate and sang along and made fun of the movie as they enjoyed it. They were all quieter for Miracle on 34th Street, sipping the cocoa Skye made them all. 

“Early night everyone.” Phil said, “Need to give Santa plenty of time to fill stockings and leave gifts for good boys and girls.”

Everyone protested but shuffled off to their beds. Clint pouted. “Five more minutes in front of the tree?”

“Sure.” Phil agreed. He wrapped an arm around Clint. “Is it good?”

Clint snuggled in. “The best ever.” It was dark in the room except for the Christmas lights. “I’m happy Phil.”

“Me too.” 

Eventually Phil managed to get Clint into bed with the promise of snuggles. They settled in and Clint sighed happily. “Merry Christmas Phil.” Phil kissed his nose which was still red, but dripping less. Clint fell asleep first which was good.

Phil snuck out of bed and met Melinda at the stairs. They moved quietly through the bus gathering gifts and stocking fillers and eating the cookies Skye had left out for Santa. They clinked a glass of whiskey in holiday cheer before returning to their quarters.

“Holy Shit, we did get visited by Santa!” Skye’s shout rolled through the bus and Clint didn’t give a damn about Phil and just lept out of bed and ran for the communal area.

The screen had a yule log burning on it and Christmas music was playing and there on the bar were the stockings all full up and there were double the gifts under the tree than the night before. He and Skye were bouncing off the walls waiting for everyone to trundle in, in various states of dressed. Melinda was the only one actually awake and had coffee going. She passed it out to everyone and Clint took a cup and ran for Phil’s room. He shoved it at the man. “Coffee. Now move your ass.”

Phil came out in his Captain America pajamas and glasses and glared at everyone, daring them to say something.

“Now?” Clint begged and Skye was bouncing.

“Now.” Phil agreed. Clint hurried over and started handing out stockings to everyone who tore into the small gifts Santa had left them. There were bullets and candy canes, throwing knives and playing cards - the little things that made you happy.

The larger gifts were handed around and everyone oohed and awed and made a mess with the wrapping paper. Phil appreciated the fact that every single person on the bus got him a tie. He appreciated more that everyone during their shopping time had bought gifts for Clint.

Clint’s gifts for each person were perfect, he had clearly listened to all of Phil’s stories and read everyone’s file and managed to find something that made more than one person well up in happiness. 

Fitz and Simmons looked at each other. “We have one more gift, but we need to go downstairs for it.” Everyone moved through the sea of wrapping paper and down the stairs. 

Clint gasped as the little drones were making it snow.

“We made snow.” Simmons smiled pleased with the effect. 

“Thank god you covered Lola.” Phil muttered. The group all went down and let the flakes hit their heads and Tripp started making snow balls.

Phil leaned against the SUV and watched his people play. He had to admit that this was the best Christmas he could remember in a long time.

Clint came over and held a sprig of mistletoe up. “Merry Christmas Phil.”

Phil pulled him close and gave him a gentle kiss. “Merry Christmas Clint.” He leaned to give him another and was hit by a snowball.

“I don’t want to see anymore of my dad’s making out.” Skye yelled.

“Oh this is war.” Phil put Clint on the stairs. “You rest.” he pointed at ‘the kids.’ “You all prepare for death.”

Clint watched the snow battle with the mug of tea Melinda forced into his hand. He had gotten his Christmas list all checked off, even better than he could have imagined.

  
  
  
  



End file.
